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mukihyena Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "mukihyena" journal:

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August 27th, 2011
10:17 am

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Won't lie, my job's been stressful lately. My previous jobs in the field have had me working on a team of people all working on the same thing, given laid out tasks and goals to meet. This latest job has me in an environment where I'm the only one working in the areas I own -- "Make sure you keep up with X and Y, and Z takes priority at certain times in developement." I'm never sure if the job I'm doing is good. I'm not sure if my work is acceptable, or if I'm falling behind. Primarily because I've got nobody to compare my work to.

I miss working on a team, in a big group, where I blend in and don't stand out. I feel as if this job demands much more out of me than I'm ready for.

Regardless, I'm going to try to see this job to the end, my contract is only a few months or so away from ending.

I need to get out of the ridiculous debt I dug myself into. That is my main source of stress and frustration at this point. After that, once I'm done jumping from job to job, contract to contract, maybe I'll actually be able to afford going to school and actually start learning what I want to do with my life.

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July 17th, 2011
03:16 pm

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Is there a specific point when engaging in entertaining activities becomes escapism? Drinking problems away? How about watching TV at night? Listening to music in the car? Writing stories, engaging in creative activities? I don't think there's any specific point, I see it to be a large grey area. Playing video games is a way of escaping boredom. I even consider music to be a way of escaping silence.

Perhaps I have a hint of moral nihilism.

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July 9th, 2011
01:54 pm

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After years of uncertainty and procrastination, I finally bit the bullet and got my ears pierced.

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June 18th, 2011
08:38 pm

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Let's say your playing a game in public. For the sake of this example, let's say it's God of War or Grand Theft Auto on the PSP. Your guy is a super violent, murderous, immoral guy who doesn't give a shit about anything, cutting down everything in his way.

Would you feel comfortable playing this in public? If the answer is yes, let's say the sex minigame comes up. Would you still feel comfortable playing this in public?

It's kind of funny to think about which one is more socially acceptable than the other.

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June 16th, 2011
01:04 am

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I've finally become the person I've wanted to be all these years. I took the time and effort into breaking out of my shell of self-pity and looked at everything else for once, not only myself. I didn't fight it. I questioned it, I assessed it. I started looking at things from a perspective I was, up until a few days ago, too stubborn and self-absorbed to see. I feel like I now understand the inner workings of people.

I feel confident in myself at work. I'm not stumbling around my words, my sentences are coherent. I'm not ashamed of what I say, because what I'm saying is now well thought-out, honest and justified, and I know I will not be judged. I'm communicating better in general. I'm holding myself higher when I walk. I'm saying hello to people in the hallways.

I've never felt like this before. This is, at last, the feeling of motivation. Self-esteem. Shamelessness. Pride. Honor. Peace. Not induced by escapism.

I never want how I feel right now to end.

This is natural happiness.

I've found myself.

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June 9th, 2011
12:40 am

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... damn it. I'm a Bronie.

The whole experience is Minecraft all over again.

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October 25th, 2010
05:15 pm

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Minecraft is like Legos injected with highly addictive substances.

It sure doesn't look pretty, but the concept is absolutely insane.

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October 9th, 2010
07:55 am

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Chyeeeaaaaaaah~

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September 4th, 2010
05:07 am

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Did Not Finish
Apparently Duke Nukem Forever is uncancelled.. playable at PAX. http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/surprise-duke-nukem-forever-uncanceled-playable-at-pax/1409763

God I wish I wasn't sick right now. Otherwise I'd head over.

ETA for the actual release is 2011... let's hope it stays that way. Though, I do have to say, the whole perpetual anticipation thing is kind of fun

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August 19th, 2010
02:41 am

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MGS4
Beat it a few days ago. Gonna throw out some opinions and express them as spoiler-free as possible.

First, I must say, I did in fact get a PS3 specifically for this game. Loved the series since I played MGS2 for the first time years ago (Ironically not the fan favorite, of the series lol). The price of the system has come down to a reasonable amount, so I picked one up. Didn't have a blu-ray player either, so hopefully we'll get some good use out of it.

Overall, I'm very pretty much impressed.

The singleplayer is freaking crazy. The cutscenes are nothing less than I would expect from the series. Amazing, in-depth. The length of some of the dialog is a bit much, I feel they could be trimmed a bit... some topics were covered multiple times. The story is deep. Emotion is very well captured. The way they tack on gameplay elements to fit the stress of the situation is very cool. The game has the signature Kojima "WTF" moments, very satisfying. I must also say, the man knows how to satisfy nostalgia.

Tons of replayability... so much stuff you miss the first time around that you can go back and get. Different paths you can take, different ways to engage situations. That kind of stuff. Virtual shooting range is pretty neat.

Haven't tried the MP too much, so I can't say much about it. Seems fun so far.

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